THE PT CHRONICLES
PART 6
SURVIVAL, PERCY PIGS AND AN INDECENT PROPOSAL
Everything was going swimmingly. I was rocking it at Bootcamp Pilates. My PT client base was starting to increase, word had got out about this guy and his TRX. Sophie and I were constantly trying to find new and improved ways of removing each other’s clothing (Also, you won’t believe this but I’m actually typing this in White City House, London and she’s just walked past.)
Career tick, money tick, sex TICK. Only one negative. Trying to fit sleep on either side of all this. I would wake up at 5 am to enable me to arrive at Bootcamp Pilates (BP) at 6 am to open the studio ready for the 630am class. I’d teach 3 classes back to back then I’d have a 2-hour break which I booked a PT client into. I’d then head back to BP to teach the afternoon block and then finish with 3 PT clients in the evening. I’d then head to Sophies, tear off her clothes, lift her against the wall, ravage her before her boyfriend returned home, then head home and watch a movie. Then repeat. I was young and full of it but my sleep and nutrition did not meet the physical demands. I was starting to crack.
I would find sleep ANYWHERE I could. Survival was paramount. We’ve all crept under a desk at work, leant against a wall, a quick couch nap. Well, my desk became the world. I was sleeping in my car. If a traffic warden bothered me I would let the back seats down and climb into the boot just to get 20 minutes power nap. No, I’m not kidding. I’d sleep on the tube, on the benches at the station. Once, I fell asleep standing up whilst a client was boring the eyebrows off my face in a plank. I have a friend, Matthew, who has a saying ‘She could put a glass eye to sleep’. That was her chat level.
I was barely surviving physically with zero intention of slowing up. I took on evening slots at BP on Thursdays because I was utterly obsessed with packing out their classes and being the best. Obsession in your profession is amazing, it’s what makes you become the best. Anyway, each time this evening class was rolling around I was already fucked from a day of training. Enter Percy Pig and friends.
There was a Waitrose under BP that’ I’d use for food and drink throughout the day. Low energy brings the sugar cravings. I bought two packs of Reversy Percy’s and on this his particular Thursday evening I was dying after teaching one of four classes in a row. I had 5mins break in between each. In that first break, I launched both packs into my face, honestly, I may as well have put them in a blender and drank them. The sugar hit the system about 3mins in as I cued the class into a dumbbell lateral lift with lunge…the black tunnel descended, next thing I’m passed out on the floor highly embarrassed but still shouting out instructions from a prone position. Soldier (eye-roll).
Some context. I had super-fans at Bootcamp Pilates. Die-hard female Pilates ninjas who never missed a day of my classes and looked at me the way a groupie would. This isn’t bragging, it’s just the way it was. Now, there was one woman in particular who, if I was a wrong-un, would have stripped naked in class if I’d instructed. She asked me for PT.
PT with Maggie was great for a few weeks. We were TRX’ing off my tree in Hyde Park and she was getting stronger, leaner and more confident. Pfffffffff, almost too confident. We finished a session and as I’m packing up;
“So this is going to be my last session.” She announced.
“Really? Why?” I was disappointed. She was a good client at three a week.
“My husband has just got a new job in Dubai so we’re leaving next week.”
Then her face changed to an almost Jessica Rabbit formation.
“So I was wondering…did you want to sleep with me before I leave?” as calmly as that.
I nearly spat an imaginary drink out. Flattering as that is, to be put in that position face to face with a client who you then have to walk across the park with is a touch awkward. Also, the power shift was immense. I was the PT, I was the one with the confidence and the control. She took it from me in the blink an eye.
My reply was simple…
TBC